Hi, I’m Hazel with a little bit of information that I’ve learned through the years. When we bring children into the world, they are supposed to enter into our world. We’re not supposed to turn our world into their world. And if we have just two children, a boy, he’s the king, and a girl, she’s the princess, and they never learn to share with each other.
So I am an advocate of bigger families because the children then learn to share. And they are … I believe in loving your children and telling them how wonderful they are, but you still need to teach them to be, to do things. We’ve gotten into the last few years of self-esteem. We’ve got to teach self-esteem. No, you can’t teach self-esteem. The way you teach self-esteem is to teach your children to do something, to earn some self-esteem.
Now, of course, they’re valuable and you love them. I used to tell my children when I had to discipline them, “I love you because you’re my children. But nobody else will love you unless you are a good child. And I want the whole world to love you. So, you have to be disciplined.”
But people have lost sight of that these days. They think that their children are perfect and they’re helicopter parents. They have to hover over them all the time over each little thing that they do and they baby them. They don’t teach them to stand up to their challenges and be able to handle their own problems. We have … I guess the term would be cry rooms now in colleges for students to go and cry and come on. When I was young, we had kids younger than that going off to war to fight our battles. 18 years old. And yet now we have to coddle them and take care of them. Come on. What we’re doing is making teaching them to be a bunch of wimps.
We don’t want that, do we? Do we want to have strong children that can do things and be assured, self-assured and branch out on their own? Or do we want them to live in our basement for the rest of our lives? Yeah. I have neighbors where the kids have never left home and they’re in their 50s and they have never even left home. I can’t understand that. I used to tell mine, “When you graduate from high school, if you don’t go to school, you can go to college if you want to go to college. But if you don’t go and you get a job. You live at home, you pay rent. From the time you’re 18, we’re done. I’m finished with my job with you.”
Some people think that they are required to have their kids, to pay for their kid’s college. No. No you’re not. You’re required to give them food and shelter until they are 18 years old and graduate from high school. And then it’s up to them what they want to do. You don’t … You’re not required to pay for their college. They can work and pay for it. I have five children, I didn’t pay for a single one of them to go to college. They all have college degrees. I didn’t pay anything. So and I didn’t get one penny from my mom for my college. Not one cent.
So it is possible to teach your children to be self-sufficient. There’s no reason for them to be hanging onto their mom’s coattail until they’re 40 years old. When I grew up, I know it’s been a long time ago, but when I grew up if a child got in trouble at school, he got in more trouble when he got home. But now if a child gets in trouble at school, the parents are up there defending the child and denigrating the teacher. Come on. That’s not the way to train your child. You need to train your child to respect authority and do what they’re told and get their homework and be responsible. And it starts when they’re very, very small. They don’t need to be coddled. Loved, yes. But they will learn a lot more from their adversities than they will their hugs and kisses.
That’s my help for today. I’m 88 years old, I take no medication. Everything works and nothing hurts and I’ve decided I would rather eat my vegetables than to become one.